It often happens like this: On your social media feed, all you’ve ever seen are pregnant moms that seem to supernaturally glow with the joy of their ever-growing baby bump or the postpartum tired-but-happy soft smiles of new mothers. Naturally, you assume pregnancy is rainbows and sunshines, minus that tiny little part about giving birth. Then, all of a sudden, you’re pregnant and you start to panic.
Whether it’s baby numero uno or number five, the reality sets in as you’re scrolling through TikTok at 2 a.m. All of a sudden, your feed only shows you horror stories of deliveries-gone-wrong via BirthTok. Or, worse yet, you finally deliver your little chunky piece of sunshine, only to discover you no longer feel the same joy you used to have… instead, you’re a bundle of anxious thoughts and depressed emotions. The myth that pregnancy is automatically a happy time keeps a lot of people silent and unsupported. Whether you’re in the thick of it or not, let’s talk about the unmentioned anxiety surrounding pregnancy and birth—and what to add or remove from your life to help you manage it.
Does social media help or hurt pregnancy anxiety?
Birth story videos are trending, leading researchers to question if digital birth narratives are actually helpful for women who fear childbirth. For instance, one study found that women consistently exposed to positive birth stories became less anxious compared to their peers.
The Pros:
Watching or sharing stories helps many people realize their worries, symptoms, or fears are common and that they’re not alone. Moreover, social media can create a sense of community where pregnant people connect, ask questions, and receive encouragement. Not to mention the tips you can learn and the basic, important information at your fingertips.
The Cons:
Nonetheless, there is also a downside to social media: Information overload, exposure to worst-case scenarios, misinformation, and comparison can all lead to increased anxiety. What’s more, the algorithm picks up on what you interact with and will feed you more. It may
start with only two trauma stories, but soon that may consume your feed. Studies have also shown that digital storytelling leads to increased self-criticism in new mothers. That said, social media can be beneficial when used with caution in moderation, alongside the opinions of trusted
medical professionals.
Is my anxiety normal?
In short, yes. Prenatal anxiety, depression, intrusive thoughts, and mood disorders are common—but they’re often still under-screened and under-treated. Perinatal depression, also known as postpartum depression (PPD), is a serious but treatable mood disorder that affects about one in seven pregnant women. Symptoms can include extreme sadness, anxiety, fatigue, loss of appetite, insomnia, irritability, suicidal thoughts, and difficulty bonding with your baby. But these emotions can develop during the pregnancy, not just in the 12 months following it. According to JAMA, perinatal depression occurs in up to 18 percent of women—and more than 75 percent of these women aren’t treated.
Does it go away after birth?
Most moms experience the “baby blues” for a few weeks after birth, but many moms go on to experience PPD. “I didn’t start taking anxiety meds until after I had kids,” a friend recently joked when I asked if she’d experienced anxiety while pregnant. My mom also wrestled with intense postpartum anxiety and depression after giving birth to me—and she’s not alone. In fact, the number of women experiencing anxiety during the perinatal period has only gotten worse since COVID, according to an article on post-pandemic maternal mental health from The Journal of Maternal-Fetal & Neonatal Medicine.
“Postpartum depression alone affects at least 14 percent of new mothers and their families,” states authors Natalie Feldman and Sarah Perret in an article called “Digital mental health for postpartum women: perils, pitfalls, and promise.” If you’re experiencing birth anxiety, it might shape-shift into other concerns after birth. Nevertheless, it does not last forever—if it’s treated. Psychotherapy is the go-to treatment. Medicines are also commonly prescribed to help get your hormones back in whack. In the meantime, here are some practical tricks to address or reduce pregnancy-related anxiety.
Mental Health Support
■ Don’t Like? Don’t Click
If you’re scrolling, don’t interact with content you don’t want more of—or else, you may end up only seeing similar content.
■ Ask Questions
You can’t always trust the internet, and every situation is different. When you’re afraid or uncertain, don’t spiral (for too long) before asking your doctors or sharing your concerns.
■ Be Honest with Your Community
Sometimes, you just need a good listening ear; other times, you need a wise friend to remind you of what is true and calm you down. Regardless, you can’t do this alone.
■ Ask for Help
Don’t let shame’s chokehold prevent you from reaching out when you need help. You are not “less than” for dealing with real, hard emotions. Telehealth is a great option, and there are many free helplines for those struggling with mental health, including the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline (1-833-TLC-MAMA), SAMHSA, and Postpartum Support International (PSI) (1-800-944-4PPD).
■ Utilize Technological Resources
“Not all digital resources are good resources,” Feldman and Perret warn—so be smart. But there are some really cool programs out there like the free PSI app and Mothers and Babies Internet Course. Other technological advances like digital phenotyping, which uses passive data to screen for mental health conditions like mood disorders, may be worth checking out.
No matter where you are on your journey, as the Mayo Clinic so aptly put it, “Postpartum depression is not a character flaw or a weakness.” It’s okay to feel anxious, but don’t stay there.